And then a few weeks later I stopped into this ‘ol bloggity blog to show you my boyfriend? This still makes me laugh.
In all honestly, that post about taking a break from dating had been brewing in my head for a while before it was actually posted. Also, I meant everything I said in that post. And, I hadn’t been dating for many months before I met J.
Everyone kept saying I’d find someone when I stopped looking. What does that even mean? I would sigh, say okay, and contemplate buying pretty Yorkie collars for all the dogs I planned to have. Sparkly pink ones are the best, I think.
When I stopped looking, took time for me and started getting to a better place with myself (and started loving myself!), it allowed me to let someone else love me too.
In my “stop looking”, I continued to grow. I worked hard at school. I volunteered. I continued to make great friendships. I spent time with my family. I was happy. And then, one day I was bored and made an OkCupid profile, not expecting too much. I mean, I had done the online dating thing before, why would this be different? Silly Linny. It was different because I was different.
For so many years, I didn’t think I’d find someone. I hoped I would, but I wasn’t holding my breath. I have Monica Gellar like tendencies, I forget to turn lights off, I talk in my sleep, I lost my dad at early age and that makes me weird some times, I use silly faces and voices and I can be truly awkward sometimes. I’m a weirdo. I was okay with being that crazy
cat Yorkie lady, and I didn’t really expect much else.
I guess I’m saying all this to say that I was the ultimate cynicism-er about finding someone, and I understand that other people are too. You don’t have to be though. They were right, I found someone when I stopped looking, and started loving myself instead.